Holiday breaks are supposed to be a time to relax, eat good food, and get an intermission from schoolwork. But instead of peace, some students say the holidays come with something else entirely: an interrogation from family members.
Between the food and visiting distant relatives, a lot of teens find themselves facing rapid-fire questions, such as “So what are your plans after high school?”, “How are your grades?”, “Have you started applying for colleges yet?” These questions feel so stressful, they begin worrying about the answers weeks in advance.
Even an underclassman states they start to feel anxious before the break even begins, knowing they will have to repeat the same answers to all of their aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Sophomore Deneah Nelson expressed, “Honestly I don’t even know why they ask me these questions, I’m barely a sophomore. I just feel really stressed out when they ask stupid questions like that.” Nelson expressed that she feels that the questions made by family members make her anxious and that during the break she would like to rest instead of being condemned by relatives.
Sources say this kind of stress is common (K College Success). Family members usually mean well, but what they believe is small talk can be very overwhelming for teenagers who are already dealing with academic pressures, job expectations, or the uncertainty of planning for the future.
Senior Paige Heeden stated, “Some years in the past and I feel like especially this year, my family stresses me out about grades. Even though my grades are good, which can be irritating, but honestly I’m just glad to have my family all together.” Heeden explained that she enjoys the company of her family regardless of the questions they ask because the holidays bring them together. Heeden even admits how she practices how she is going to answer family members’ questions beforehand so she will not get caught off guard.
School social worker Skylar Gardner “I think [those questions] can put a lot of pressure on students. It’s a lot of pressure to have your answers figured out or your life figured out.” Gardner suggests that families ask more supportive and uplifting questions, like how students are feeling or what they’re excited about, as opposed to grades or plans for the future. This also encourages students to set boundaries with relatives and adults if certain conversations make them uncomfortable.
Despite the stress, students say they try to make the best of the season. They enjoy the food, downtime, and break from school, even if they have to endure a couple of uncomfortable conversations along the way.
