‘Tis the season for cheesy plot-lines

Anna Myers

Christmas season. It means a little something different to everyone, but there is one tiding of joy that all can partake in: Hallmark movies.  

And you don’t even have to read the movie synopsis to know what it is going to be about!

You can always count on a Hallmark film to include a small-town heroine, a character with a Yoda-like presence to provide holiday wisdom, and quite possibly a love triangle.

Anticipate snowy cabin scenes with a workaholic protagonist and townspeople who have an unprecedented amount of freetime.

The plot usually revolves around either a used bookstore or a bakery and at some point at least one ruggedly-handsome lumberjack love interest will probably show up.

Whether or not viewers can predict the entire movie, the Hallmark channel has produced cinematic holiday staples. Many families make the sappy plot lines and oddly endearing characters part of their Christmas traditions.

Take a second to think up some stereotypical things that you associate with the season. Arguably unique snowflakes? Michael Buble or Justin Bieber’s holiday album and cookies shaped like ornaments? Maybe Christmas tree decorating or a crackling fireplace? All of these cliché things are cheesy, and yet they’re important. They are the building blocks and foundation of what Christmas means to you.

And all of these things can be found in almost every Hallmark movie ever produced, making them a crucial aspect of the average American holiday season.

Hallmark movies: repetitive and overrated

Nadine Loureiro

The holiday season is upon us, and with holidays comes the oncoming storm, otherwise known as the rise of Hallmark movies. The overplayed plots never seem to stop and it is almost as if writers hit copy and paste but only change the names of the characters. You already know what the end of each movie is destined for considering it has been seen a thousand times.

Small town girl entering the big city: Oh my! I have to focus on work! How will I survive this big city?!

Grumpy man who does not believe in love: [slams into said girl] watch it- [pauses to stare into her eyes]

Girl: Oh my! I am so sorry! [Scrambles to help him pick up scattered papers]

The couple then faces a rollercoaster of avoiding their emotions and attempting to keep their mind off of each other, but the world just happens to set up situations where the two constantly meet, finally falling in love. It ends with the two sharing a kiss under the mistletoe, the camera pans out to show the snow falling onto the floor, coating the big city, and it is more than likely to show a scene between a dog and child playing outside. The end. Roll the credits.

Not only is the script the same, but if you glance over every cover of every Hallmark movie poster, here is a checklist for you.

If it includes the colors green, red, and white, shows a couple gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, snow falling outside the window, a decorated tree, mistletoe, presents, and some cheesy title that has to have the word Christmas in it (written in fancy lettering, of course), then congrats! You found a Hallmark movie.

Perhaps after years of the same story being told, it is about time they brainstorm a new one.