Kacey Musgraves captured the essence of family perfectly when she sang the lyric, “You might look just like ’em, that don’t mean you’re like ’em, but you love ’em,” in her song “Family Is Family”. The holidays bring you close to your always loved but sometimes-dreaded family; managing can be a real headache. Some of the most common family challenges this time of year can be difficult to handle, here’s some advice that can make navigating the holidays a little bit easier.

College and Career Path Interrogations:

For many students, but especially seniors, it seems like all your family members ever want to talk about is college.

Where are you applying? What’s your major? Have you gotten in? Did you get any scholarships yet? What is the middle name, favorite color, and social security number of your future roommate? 

People often ask because they’re genuinely interested in your future and are excited to hear about what’s to come. Although these questions are asked with good intentions, they still add on to the stress students have already put on themselves and become redundant and annoying.

If you’re tired of these interrogations at every holiday party, family meal, and celebration, consider making this information readily available to those who want to know. Keep them updated through a group chat, a newsletter, or even an Instagram page. If you are transparent about the whole process and people can find out on their own, they’ll be less likely to barrage you with questions.

If you don’t know what you’re doing, that’s okay too. Not every teen has a perfect plan laid out for the future and they shouldn’t be expected to. So many things could happen between now and the future, it can’t be altered or predicted so there’s no use worrying. If you start to feel the pressure of needing to know your future closing in, take a breath and remember nobody knows exactly what they’re doing.

Holidays in the Closet:

The holiday season can be tricky for the LGBTQIA+ community. There’s little representation in holiday films, couple’s gifts are often heteronormative, and for many, being around family means taking a step back into the closet or even worse, being pushed out before you’re ready.

Although some LGBTQIA+ students are “out” to their immediate family and friends, they might hesitate to be as open with extended family. This can be a result of generational, geographical, and even religious divides. Sometimes you just haven’t been around a person enough to know how they’ll react.

Nosy relatives are pressing you for your romantic status, “Why hasn’t a pretty girl like you snagged a boyfriend yet?”. This leads to an awkward answer as you think to yourself Aunt Carol I’ve seen your Facebook, you’re not gonna like the truth. It’s hard to deal with these questions because you know they’re asked with the best of intentions but they still chip away at you on the inside. Remember this is your private life and disclosing any information to your family is 100% your choice.

If you are spending the holidays in the closet, it’s important to remind yourself that there are people around the world who love you just the way you are. Be sure to surround yourself with supportive people and remind yourself that this current uncomfortability is temporary. If you’re in need of immediate help, call the The Trevor Project Hotline: (866) 488-7386

A Split Christmas:

If you live in multiple households, the holidays can be an even greater struggle. To give her perspective, staff reporter Lexi Amaro wrote an editorial that you can read here.